CISTERCIAN WOOD - December 3, 2002

December 3, 2002: St. Francis Xavier 

At 4.45 a.m. I was wakened by the bell sounding the end of Vigils and went to pray in the dark church at 6.00 a.m. It’s very cold and peaceful. Lauds, apart from the monks, are attended by a man who prays out loud in the silence beforehand. Marise Skeehan from Thurles is also there and she shows me how to use the books. She has been a consecrated virgin for many years now and comes here every morning at 4.00 for Vigils. Some commitment! 

After Lauds Fr. Nivard summons me with a beck of his hand and leads me to the sacristy where he dresses me in a very long alb. A number of the monks, including Abbot Laurence, come over to shake hands with me and seem happy to have me there. 

Mass is leisurely and dignified and lasts 45 minutes. Afterwards Fr. Anthony asks how I can manage to smile so well at such an early hour. “And I’m not usually a morning person” I replied. “You’d never guess,” he said. Maybe it’s just that I’m happy to be here, though I feel quite unclean. But, as I said to the Lord, I trust that He himself has brought me here. 

Coming out of the church at 8.00 the sun is rising into a blazing red sky and the crows are very active and loud in their own lovely way. It looks like it might rain. Lionel is already at his desk in reception. 

There’s hot water! So after breakfast and a short walk I have a nice hot shower. 

A large, large procession of white and black cows is making its way from the farmyard, down to God knows where. 

*** 

At 12.30 p.m. the heating is still on and very cosy here in 22. 

After doing a bit of typing I went for a walk in the soft mist that has turned to a steady fall of rain. For over an hour I went through the farmyard into the fields and through the woods. There’s not a sinner to be seen or heard, except for the sound of someone using a chain saw for a brief while. Otherwise it’s the cows and me and God. 

Abbot Laurence sent Br. Dominic to invite me to join the monks in choir, since I’m staying around for so long. I feel like a spare tool, a thumb sticking out but it’s go with the flow time. And I am pleased to be welcomed in this way. 

I found Tony Flannery’s book Waiting In Hope in the bookshop here. 

***

O my Lord…

Don’t you think it would be good… 

If the inn where You have so continually to dwell 

Were not to get so dirty? 

(St. Teresa of Avila, The Collected Works Vol. I, Chapter 1, p. 56)